The Grass Is Always Greener

No matter what we do in life we are never satisfied. We always want the next best thing. We always need and want more. This applies to every aspect of our lives. The two most significant being our careers and our relationships. We go through life constantly living as if the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The side that your not on of course. When do we accept our grass and be happy with it? Do we ever? Should we ever?

When I look back at my career there was never a moment where I was satisfied. I was always reaching for the next best thing. Bigger, better, more! When your working you wish you weren't working, but when your not working you wish you were working. Huh?

I couldn't wait to finally be given the opportunity to stay home with my children. Now that I finally am I'm torn daily with that inner struggle wanting validation that I can only receive from a work environment. I would never give this up, but I would be lying if I said I loved every second of it. It challenges my spirit daily. The rewards and validation come through seeing my children laugh & smile. Seeing Gracie reach every milestone. Getting to hold her as much and as long as I want to everyday. Seeing how much Jonah's behavior has changed in such a short time by finally just being here for him. After years of tossing Jonah in daycare after daycare and coming home too exhausted to give him what he needed. The slightest mention of me going back to work brings on instant tears. That to me speaks mountains about what my children need from me.

These are the things I remind myself of every time I start to sway towards the grass on the other side of the fence. My children come first. The sacrifice is worth the rewards. I will have plenty of time for that greener grass later in life. If in the end it turns out that this is as green as it gets, well then I'm ok with that too!