Just Another Saturday

You can find me in the closet. That's right! Curled up quietly thinking and having a good cry. That's what I needed today. If you've never found yourself in the closet you should try it sometime. I can't begin to tell you how quiet and therapeutic it is. No one knows where you are. Just you and the clothes.

Of course it never lasts long enough. Before you know it someone is crying and needs to be held, or someone is calling your name. Five minutes without Mama and the whole house falls apart. At least that's how it can feel. On one hand it's endearing that your family needs you to get through every moment of the day, but on the other hand it means becoming completely selfless as you devote every second to your family and their needs placing your own somewhere way beyond reach.

When you become a mom you officially write off all privacy and selfishness. I can't even begin to tell you the last time I went to the bathroom alone. Someone is always with me. Someone is following behind my heels or attached to my hip until I brush my teeth and climb into bed at night. Oh but it does not stop there. Gracie is currently co-sleeping and lately for whatever reason Jonah is finding his way to the bottom of our bed in the middle of the night too. As I type this Jonah is right here next to me talking away about the latest toy he is saving for while pulling my hair!!

Alone time is rare so I take it when and where I can. Grabbing those quick seconds for a deep breathe and a good cry make me a better mom at the end of the day. Someones crying and it's not me. My five minutes are up.