Happy Birthday Kevin!

26 years old today! That sounds so young compared to my big 30! I'm definitely sad today as he is out on missions and unable to talk to us on his birthday. He opened his birthday gift from us a few days early knowing he wouldn't get the opportunity too today. We also mailed him one of those microwaveable birthday cakes with candles. I'll be curious to hear how it tasted.

Happy Birthday Love! We wish you were here snowed in with us.

Cheese!!

Gracie has a lot of personality! She is very funny and she knows she is too. She will run (crawl quickly) away from you if she hears you coming giggling the whole way. Then when she makes it too her destination she laughs and laughs. Just look at that grin!

Tis The Season!

Mistake number one of mine today was heading into town to a department store via the holiday season right at our toes. I was already feeling very tired and cranky, and so in hopes of saving my sanity I skipped Walmart and headed to what is usually my safe haven, Target. The second I entered the store I knew we needed to stick to our list and bolt as quick as possible. It was wall to wall holiday shopper madness! I quickly found myself wishing that it was legal to carry around Jonah's turbo nerf gun and just aim it at anyone in my path. People don't care anymore. It has become an every man for himself society.

At first I'm always patient. I stand there for a few minutes waiting calmly for the inconsiderate individuals to move out of my way. Then I have to change my tone. "Excuse me! Can I please get by?" This is what really kills me, "Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there." What! You didn't notice me? The person standing here staring down the back of your head with a screaming baby on my hip and a seven year old dancing circles around the cart!!

And what is it with Jonah's need to touch everything! Everything! Everywhere we go it is the same. There is not a single surface he does not put his hands on. Prior to entering the store we had the H1N1 pep talk about not touching anything during this cold and flu season. Did it work? Nope! That would be listening. Touch, touch, touch, and more touching. If he's not touching something he is usually spinning on the floor or lagging behind gawking at some item that he needs just one more second to examine.

I plan to do all of my holiday shopping online or during the week to avoid any future urges to pull out Jonah's nerf gun! The Holidays are here!

Soldiers Christmas Ideas Continued

Some new requests have come my way from unit soldiers for Christmas packages. I wanted to make sure and pass this information on prior to everyone shipping out their goodies.

Twin sheets (Jersey knit or something else super comfy)
Blankets
Towels
Wool Socks
White Ankle Socks
Green Army Socks
Dust cleaning clothes
Logs of chewing tobacco (If they don't chew this is a hot item for bartering)
Homemade goodies (Best if vacuum sealed)
Santa Hats
Sweatshirts or Long sleeve tees


Happy Veterans Day to all of our active duty troops, retired military, and those who have lost their lives serving our country!

Christmas Gift Ideas For Our Soldier

Everyone is asking what to send Kevin and his fellow unit combat soldiers this Holiday season so here are a few ideas:

A Letter
International Calling Cards
Beef Jerky
5 Hour Energy Shots (This is the #1 request)
Gatorade Drink Mix Pouches for water bottles
Protein Bars
Wet Wipes
Magazines (Men's Health, Handyman, Sports, Cars, Etc)


Including items in the packages that Kevin can share with less fortunate soldiers are very much appreciated. We cannot begin to express our gratitude for all of the love and support through these upcoming holidays.

Gracie On The Move!

Gracie has been crawling now for about a month and life has become a constant game of cat and mouse. She is so fast! She screams and squeals if she can't be in the same room as Jonah, or have the same toy that Jonah has. She has also mastered the art of pulling up into a standing position onto everything. So, gone are the days of leaving her alone in a room for a quick second while I run to grab something. Nope, she's up and into trouble every time I turn my head. Non-stop action all day long.

Thus my blogging days have slowed dramatically. I truly have found myself with less and less free moments with each passing day. I can no longer just set her on the floor with a few toys to occupy her. Look out world here I come is her current motto. It's a lot of fun and very exciting to watch her little personality come through. She is a very happy little girl!

Happy Halloween!

A Ninja & a Pumpkin! We spent Halloween in Wichita with Gran Gran & Papa Rob. Gracie was tired and crabby come costume time so most of the shots of her were unhappy faces. Jonah had a lot of fun and counted 135 pieces of candy at the end of the night!

P.S.

I just wanted to clear up that the post on things not to say to a military wife was not written by me. I just related to many of those points, and when I came across that list I felt it appropriate to share this week. I admittedly did tweak it though to relate to me.

It has been a trying week and I have heard the "at least your husbands not in Afghanistan" comment one too many times. I am very proud of Kevin and what he is doing on a daily basis and hate when it is downplayed. Just another hard week!

Things Not To Say To A Military Wife!

1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front.)

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices. It's called love!)

3. “At least he’s not in Afghanistan.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Iraq. What do they think is happening in Iraq? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there just the same.)

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(Sure, we do learn coping skills but it doesn't get easier, it actually gets harder. The bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment.)

9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)

10. “Where is he exactly?
(For the safety of my husband please don't bother asking this question. Chances are I don't know, and if I do I'm not sharing that information for his protection.)

11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)

12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. I didn’t ask for your personal political opinions, and no my husband does not think it's a waste of time. He can't think that way as he has to get up everyday and survive. He must feel as if what he is doing on a daily basis has a purpose, and it does!!)

last but not least….

14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you.

To The Pumpkin Patch

Our weekend included a trip to the local pumpkin patch. The first thing Jonah wanted to do was the corn maze. Thirty minutes into the maze I started to worry if we would make it out. I had visions of sitting on the path nursing Gracie as we waited for help. We eventually made it through, and then it was off to search for pumpkins. Who knew they would charge a small fortune for pumpkin picking. $20 for a pumpkin was not in the family budget. I distracted Jonah by offering up a trip to town to purchase his Halloween costume with the money saved. I know what you're thinking, I'm a mean penny pinching Mom! We went for a pumpkin and came home empty handed! I know! I know already! I felt just awlful about it after we left. We still had a fun morning looking through the patch and exploring the maze. Gracie enjoyed it for all of ten minutes and decided a nap sounded better to her as you can tell by her sleepy eyes in the photo. It's always an adventure!

P.S.
Walmart Sells Pumpkins Any Size For $4.00!!

Happy Birthday Jonah!

7 years later and he is still screaming!!

I talked to my Dad on the phone on Jonah's birthday and he said, "Can you believe it's been seven years. Does it feel like it?" My response was not what he was expecting when I said, "Yes it has felt like seven years!" Jonah and I have been through some long hard years together. It seems like we never get to stop experiencing long hard years together as we are currently experiencing one as we speak.

Jonah has kept me on my toes since the day he was born. Every year has been a new adventure in parenting. He is the best and the worst all rolled into one on a daily basis. I wonder how many more years we can get away with calling him Boogie! Happy Birthday to my little boy! Suddenly not so little anymore.

Battle Of The Plungers!

Jonah celebrated his 7th Birthday today with family & friends Captain Underpants style. Jonah and his cousin Noah battled in the yard with plungers bought special for the occasion. Aside from the plungers the boys were armed with whoopie cushions, silly string, water grenades, & water guns. Jonah said it was the best birthday ever. I hear this statement every year and always wonder if I can make next year the best birthday ever once again. Somehow we always seem to make it memorable and fun. It's not everyday you get to decorate the house with underwear and pass out silly name tags like; Poopsie Toiletchunks & Loopy Wafflenose.

Every time the house is filled with the noise of family & friends I am so thankful for the yearly celebration of a birthday. We are all so busy with our day to day that it is fun to make the time to get together and fill your day with pizza, cheetos, cookies, candy, and ice cream cake. We are very blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives! Happy early birthday to my little booger monster!

Crazy Hat

Last night was crazy hat night at Awanas. Awana Club is a weekly kids' ministry that Jonah attends at the Methodist Church here in town. They have a weekly theme and this week was Crazy hat night. Jonah had a lot of fun hot gluing all sorts of items to a fishing hat. He thought there was a contest, but in the end there wasn't. By far he had the craziest hat out of 150 plus kids. He sure knows how to strike a pose!!

Halloween Tutu

Tonight I finally got around to making Gracie's Halloween pumpkin tutu. It's now one a.m. in the morning, but at least it's done! I think it turned out super cute, and I can't wait to see her all dressed up for her first Halloween.

When It Comes Down To It.

Truth be told when it comes down too it no one really wants to listen to your day to day shit. Everyone is busy with their lives and although people are quick to say they are there for you, very few truely care about your day to day, or have the time to give you to pretend to care about it. That's ok though. It's suppose to be this way. This is normal. We get married and have a family for a reason. Our spouse is there everyday to listen to all of our day to day nonsense. Even if they don't want too, that's what they are there for. They are your sounding board. Good and bad. They let you talk and talk even if they aren't truly listening.

I miss my sounding board. It has been a long hard week. I don't like people to feel obligated to feel sorry for me so I tend to keep things to myself. I sat on the couch tonight for a good cry with Jonah and he said, "I miss him too Mama." I know your worried he might die. Oh boogie! I laughed out loud which was just what I needed to bring me back into my mom reality.

I have found myself calling my sisters and mom over every stupid little thing just to tell someone. I'm sure they are all considering blocking my number. I do get to touch base with Kevin everyday either via yahoo messenger or phone. This is both good and bad. The phone conversations are usually something like this;

Hello. Hello. Baby. Hello. You there. Hello. What happen. What. Hello. Love you. I think you said I love you. Ok. Hello. Love you. This sucks. Hello. Love you. Bye.

Internet is not much better. He is always on a time limit of ten minutes or less, and we are usually lucky if his connection doesn't freeze up, or if our kiddos are up for letting me sit and type to Daddy. Getting on the webcam always results in a freeze up. It makes you almost wish for the way it used to be before technology. Old fashion letter writing. Everyday communication is usually just painful disappointment. There is never enough time to say everything you want to say, and what you do get to say is usually misinterpreted via the communication sound waves we like to refer to as the Hodgie home wrecker.

It's just a hard lonely time where everyday is painfully the same. I find myself emotionally torn everyday as I want to cross the days off the calander to bring my husband home, but on the other side of that I don't want my baby girl to grow up so fast. She will be 15 months old when he gets home and that is too scarey to imagine. We just miss our Daddy!

Wordless Wednesday

Can you see my tooth?

Those Wacky Grown-Ups

This is an excerpt from a chapter of one of Jonah's Captain Underpants books. It had me laughing out loud so I had to share:

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk...and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up.

It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immediately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets, and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are suddenly considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes.

One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principals office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class.

Captain Underpants And The Preposterous Plight Of The Purple Potty People
By Dav Pilkey

What's That Smell?

Today an incredible odor is seeping from Jonah's room. At first I was blaming him. It wouldn't be the first time a strong odor has made it's way from Jonah. All throughout the evening every time I made my way to his room the smell was overwhelming. After Jonah had showered and climbed into bed I couldn't take it anymore. I started tearing apart his room in search of a dead mouse to possibly explain this odor. Flashlight in hand I went to work searching every nook and cranny. Nothing. I can't find anything. I resorted to lighting candles which only made it worse. The smell is everywhere. It is definitely something dead. Now how do I find it?

This mystery smell sent me on a cleaning frenzy at 11 at night. I cloroxed the entire bathroom, scrubbed down the kitchen, vacuumed, & started washing everything. Mousetraps are on my agenda for tomorrow as I would not be surprised if I had a few visitors aside from the dead one as the weather starts to get cooler.

Yes I vaccum everyday. Truth be told usually twice. Maybe that explains Gracie's love for the vaccum. The mystery odor..........to be continued.

Birthday Cake!

Jonah turns 7 on the 20th of October. His current favorite chapter book series is Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey. It is a very funny series of books that keeps him laughing and laughing. He is always anxious to ride his bike to the library to see if they have a new one on the shelf that he hasn't read. When we started tossing around birthday party ideas for his upcoming 7th birthday it was not a surprise to me when he requested a Captain Underpants themed party.

Tonight we sat down together on the couch to google some Captain Underpants cake ideas. We were coming up empty handed and I anticipate I will be creating this underwear superhero cake from scratch. In one final attempt at an idea Jonah said, "just try typing in underwear." Ok I admit this was not my finest mommy moment. It was late, I was tired, and I should have anticipated what type of results I might get typing underwear cake into google. On the first link I clicked on Jonah was wide eyed with anticipation as the page loaded. Needless to say, the results were not child friendly. It was all I could do but laugh and laugh. Jonah's response had me crying tears of laughter. "I wasn't expecting that Mama! A hot girl body in a bikini and bra huh Mama! We can have that for your birthday k Mama."

A superhero in his underwear! I can only imagine what his 8th birthday will bring.

Wordless Wednesday

Gracie's bottom two front teeth are pushing their way through her gums, and my poor angel has been hurting. Today after being wide awake since 4a.m. she fell asleep sucking on a pair of her shorts. Precious little girl!

Let's Have Another Baby!

Ok before anyone goes jumping to conclusions let me set the record straight. No, I am not pregnant! This weekend Jonah was away and Gracie and I found ourselves alone in the house just the two of us all weekend. It's bad enough having Daddy gone and losing that element of entertainment. Take Jonah out of the picture too, and Gracie and I were bored to death! There is only so much baby entertainment to occupy one day. Kevin called me from Kuwait and my first statement was, "let's have another baby." My husband can't wait to try for another boy so his response was of course ok without hesitation.

My Mom used to always say it's easier with two when Jonah was a baby. I never wanted to believe her until going through six years with Jonah being an only child. Now that Gracie is here I can't wait to have another one. Bring on the chaos, bring on the babies. The more the better. Let's have them all close together and be done is what I keep saying. Adding more life to our family makes it so much easier in the big picture, although I am very aware of the not so easy elements that come with lots of children as well. My Mom was right. Two is always better than one. Three is icing on the cake. Four is the cherry on the top. Five is just way too many! Nineteen like the Duggar family is just insanity!

Having my husband gone makes me appreciate and value my children and what they bring to our lives and to each others lives. Gracie loves her brother and I know Jonah loves her just as much even though he would never admit that. Removing one of them from the picture puts us all off balance. Now all we need is Daddy to come home to put the final element of balance back into our lives.

The Only Vegetable Soup

Today it has been cold and rainy all day. Perfect for a hearty bowl of warm soup. I created this recipe years ago when Jonah was a baby and we were living in Oklahoma. I call this soup the only vegetable soup because it's just that good!

4 Green Zucchini, Chopped
1 Red Pepper, Diced
1 Yellow Pepper, Diced
1-2 Yellow Onions, Diced
1 Bag Baby Carrots
1 28oz. Can Diced Tomatoes With Basil & Garlic
2 Vegetable Bouillon Cubes
3 Cups White Wine
5-8 Small Red Potatoes, diced, Skin On
4 Cloves Garlic, Chopped

Saute onions and garlic in EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) until caramelized. De glaze your pan with white wine. Add remaining ingredients and just enough water to cover. Cook on medium low heat until vegetables are cooked through. Enjoy!

A Lot Of Things Different

Today Gracie and I spent sometime dancing in the living room to one of my favorite albums; Kenny Chesney No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems

The memories I have of dancing and singing with my children are some of my very favorite. When Jonah was a baby, the only way he would go to sleep was if I would sing to him while dancing in the kitchen. Gracie just giggles and smiles looking at me like I'm crazy. We crank up the music and for a few minutes nothing else matters. We all have things in our lives that we wish we could have done different, but making those mistakes along the way make us who we are today. We continue to struggle daily with the balance of our choices and the daily stepping stones that make up our lives. Everyday is a decision and how we choose to live with that decision is the hard part. No regrets! Take time out for a dance the next time you have a few minutes. I know you won't regret cranking up the music and spinning around the room with the ones you love.

A Bug! A Bug!

Jonah is terrified of all bugs. He is fascinated by them, but terrified all the same. If he sees a bug in any size, shape, or form he screams a blood clenching scream at the top of his lungs. This scream always sends me running to see who is hurt or who has died. When I arrive to discover that the scream was produced by a fly that had just landed on him, I shake my head and laugh in disbelief. I thought little boys were suppose to smash bugs with their bare hands. Stomp on them until they are specs on their shoes. Tear them apart and inspect the results with a magnifying glass. Well, when it comes to my little boy none of the above apply.

If you find your self driving by our home and you see a six year old running around the yard with a fly swatter there is no need to do a double take. It is an actual daily event at our home. Jonah loves nothing more than spending his outside time swatting any and all bugs that cross his path. Locust are his "arch enemy" to quote him. He is terrified of them. Our yard is filled with hundreds of these dead creatures belly up all over the yard. Jonah is convinced that they are in fact not dead and he takes drastic measures to avoid any confrontations with them at all times.

If you questioned his use of fly swatters outside his response would be his new favorite, "It's a man thing Mama, you wouldn't understand." Somehow I don't think that running around the yard with a fly swatter and screaming at the top of your lungs over a gnat qualifies as a "man thing." But, what do I know. I'm only the Mom!

There's No Place Like Home!

What is it about coming home? You can't wait to leave, but then when you leave you can't wait to get back home. No matter what age you are it's the same. It takes you hours to leave the house, and then as soon as you leave you immediately start to anticipate your return home. In the back of your mind the entire trip you are wondering why you ever went through all the trouble to leave the house to begin with! Gracie has started squealing with delight every time we get home from being gone. As soon as I pull her from the car and she realizes where we are, she instantly starts squealing and smiling with delight! We're home! We're home! There's no place like home!

When I grow up I want to be a millionaire.

Jonah is obsessed with money. Everything he talks about relates to money in one way or another. He has to know how much it costs with tax included, and then he wants to know what he has to do to reach that financial goal. He spends hours reconfiguring his latest want list on the computer. Calculating his price totals in his attempt to make it affordable to purchase everything he wants. If I skip one of his allowance payments you better believe that he has a running tally going in his head.

Jonah is also always trying to sell something to anyone who crosses his path to add to his personal wealth. His latest venture is selling cow skulls that he gets from his Papa's farm. Jonah's opening statement anywhere we go is, "Do you want to buy my cow head?" No one has taken him up on this yet. He is also quite the expert at convincing other children to purchase miscellaneous toys from him. He came home from school telling me how he had sold several tattoos for five cents each, and a Lego piece for a quarter. I quickly informed him that selling things at school was probably not ok with the principal, and that he would have to limit his selling to e-bay and craigslist.

His obsession with money can most likely be blamed on me. I have always been very open about money and what things cost. I was a single mom when Jonah was young, and I had to be very clear with him as to why there were a lot of things we had to do without. I appreciate the fact that now if I say he can't have the latest $80 toy that he looks and me and says, "You're right. What a rip off!"

Understanding money and wanting more of it may not be what every six year old spends hours worrying about, but I have no doubt that Jonah will be successful and achieve all of his money goals with this passion. It was no surprise to me when yesterday he brought home a packet from school labeled, "All About Me," where on the what do you want to be when you grow up page Jonah wrote Millionaire. Our little money man!

Where Do I Go From Here?

I apologize as I've been on a hiatus from writing since Kevin left. Our lives were flipped upside down in one quick motion and I find myself saying, "Now What?" Everything changes as we recompose our daily routine and our lives adjusting to life without Daddy. Hitting the week mark was one of the most difficult days for us. Knowing that it had only been a week with so many more lying ahead of us felt very heavy on all of our hearts. Despite all of the hardship that deployment brings, it does bring some good in all of the bad. It makes you appreciate and value each other and your family. It makes all of the little things that you used to worry over seem microscopic and insignificant. It allows you to love one another in a way that few people will ever get to experience. For these things I am thankful. You may find me here less as I find my feet again. My five minutes of Mommy time have now upon the absence of Kevin become more like three! I'm taking it day by day.

Kissing Daddy Goodbye

Putting your husband on a plane to Iraq is a feeling that I hope few of you ever have to experience. The day leading up to the send off is pure agony! All of a sudden it is here. You go through life pretending and hoping that it won't really happen. In your mind you tell yourself that his number won't get called up. Troops will be pulled, and he won't have to leave again. Then when you can't pretend anymore the reality is unbearable.

Kevin and I spent the day trying to play catch up on our relationship. Apologizing for all the unnecessary anger, hurtful words, and actions throughout the past year. These meaningless things that many times overtook our relationship due to the deployment cloud that lingers in our lives. Kevin and Jonah tossed the football around in the backyard and ended the evening with a water balloon war. All of the things that life hasn't allowed you time to do you find yourself trying to soak up in your last few hours together. Time quickly becomes your enemy.

Kevin left in the middle of the night, so with the kids both snoring in the back we started the painful drive. When we arrived soldiers and families filled the parking lot. It is an unbelievable feeling to witness this site. Your heart wells up with grief for everyone around you. If it wasn't real before, without question it is now. At this point Kevin goes into protection/work mode. Me on the other hand just go into meltdown mode. My husband can't handle the wait or the pain so he requests that we say our goodbyes.

Last deployment our goodbye was short and sweet. It was our first and we didn't know what to expect or the pain involved. This deployment we know what to expect so the goodbye was heart wrenching. There are no words to describe it. How do you say goodbye to your partner for a year. How do you say goodbye knowing that you may never see each other again. How do you say goodbye to the father of your children knowing that now it's completely up to you to raise the kids. How do you say goodbye knowing that Gracie at 5 months doesn't know what's happening or that her Daddy is being taken away. She loves her Daddy! If I say, "Daddy's home, or where's Daddy," she instantly stops what she is doing and looks around to find him. A beautiful huge grinning smile at the sight of her Daddy. How do you say goodbye knowing that Jonah at 6 years old is now without his wrestling buddy and the strongest male influence in his life. My children losing those things hurts beyond anything else.

Suddenly what I am doing by staying home with the kids seems small and insignificant compared to what my husband is getting ready to go through. Saying goodbye to my husband, I have no words for. Pulling away and driving home was a daze. I found myself going 30mph in a 70mph zone on numerous occasions. I kept waiting to get pulled over, but hoping that once the police officer saw our windows painted with hearts, yellow ribbons, and SGT Ward our hero they would just keep driving by. Walking into our home at 4a.m. without our Daddy was a moment I was dreading. Losing that one element leaves the home with an quiet emptiness that is almost haunting.

The countdown begins. A long painful year waiting for the Army to bring Kevin home to us again. From this moment forward we live day by day and minute by minute. Keep Kevin in your thoughts and prayers until our hero is home safe.

Please Leave Your Shoes At The Door.

Anyone who has been in my home knows that I have a strict rule about shoes off in the house. To me there is nothing dirtier than the bottom of a shoe. If you don't believe me just retrace your steps for a couple of days and then I have no doubt you'll agree. Parking lots, public restroom floors, gas spills at the gas pump, animal feces, etc. If you want those kind of germs in your home that's fine, but when you are in mine they can stay outside where they belong.

I became OCD about this after the birth of Jonah. Kids live on the floor. Jonah at six years old is still on the floor in some capacity everyday. Gracie at 5 months old is on the floor all day everyday, and is usually putting her mouth on it as well. Most people are very respectful of the shoes off request, but then I always have the select few who just don't get it. I have a sign on my front door with a very simple request to kindly remove your shoes in respect of the little hands in our home. Despite this I still have the occasional guest that thinks it does not apply to them as if their shoes are somehow the exception to the rule. In Asian cultures you would not dream of entering the home with your shoes on. Why is it ok in ours?

If you need more reassurance as to what's on the bottom of your shoes and why you should re-think allowing them to remain on in your home check out the following link filled with shoe germ facts. Shoes at the door please!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Consumer/Story?id=5177409&page=1

A Sunday Nap

So much to do and so little time to do it in. Our day has been filled with putting together Gracie's new crib, mounting the tv above the fireplace, baby proofing, and re-arranging lots of furniture to make everything fit into our cozy home. For the first time in two years since we have moved into this home I finally feel as if we are living here. I am pulling out photos and knick knacks I have had stored in boxes awaiting what I thought was a new move into a bigger home. Now that we made the decision to stay it finally feels like home. A Sunday nap was definitely deserved by Daddy. Baby joined too!

Teriyaki Chicken

This is a super easy crock pot dinner.

4-6 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
10 oz. Soy Vay Veri Veri Teriyaki Sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 bottle beer
1 Tbsp. black pepper

Pierce chicken on all sides with a fork or a meat tenderizer. Place all ingredients into a crock pot and cook on low for approximately 6 hours until falling apart. Serve over rice pilaf with a side of veggies. Enjoy!

Deployment Black Cloud

With deployment less than a week away the black cloud is creeping closer and closer. It hovers over our lives and engulfs every aspect of our family. From the time Kevin returns from one deployment, until he is on the plane again on his way towards another we feel the cloud hovering above us. It never truly leaves your mind making it impossible to relax and enjoy your lives together. You find yourself placing a protection barrier between yourself and the pain. It hurts too much to love each other, but on the other side of that it also hurts not to love each other.

Now we are deep in protection mode. Everyone is walking around on pins and needles with a melt down around every corner. No one wants to talk about it, but yet it's all around us. The sadness is so intense that no one can bare to look each other in the eyes let alone stop and come face to face with the pain.

Everything about deployment is painful and truly awful! All we can do is hold on for dear life day by day in anticipation of his return. I find myself hating everyone and everything as it creeps closer. All I want to do is crawl in bed and stay there until it's all over. Unfortunately for me that's not an option. My children need me to pretend to be strong when the cloud arrives and takes daddy away from us for a long year. It's here and it hurts!

Play Dough

Quick and easy homemade play dough recipe. We love this! It lasts several weeks in a zip lock bag.

1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
1 cup water
1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
2 tsp. cream of tarter

Heat all ingredients in a saucepan on medium low heat until a smooth ball forms. Add your child's favorite color of food coloring, and mix until blended. Allow to cool completely before you hand it off to the kiddos. Have fun!

Baby Teeth

Look at those cheeks!! I just couldn't resist posting this shot. Gracie yesterday at 20 weeks finding her thumb while we were sitting outside watching the trees. The right side of her mouth has really been putting her to the test as those baby teeth irritate her gums in their attempt to surface. We are definitely teething!

Chocolate Sheet Cake

This recipe comes from a family friend, Diane Leis. She lived one block down the street from our family growing up, and her daughter was one of my best friends. To this day I have memories of Diane eating a piece of this cake with pure joy on her face! This is a big sheet cake and is great for school or church events.

Cake:

2 cups sugar
2 cups flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves
1 stick butter
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup cocoa
1 cup water
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp. baking soda

Mix sugar, flour, cinnamon, and salt. In saucepan bring butter, oil, cocoa, and water to a boil. Once boiling pour over dry ingredients and mix well. Dissolve baking soda in milk; then add milk, baking soda,& vanilla to mixture and mix well. Pour into a 16 x 11 inch sheet pan. Bake at 400 degrees for approximately 20 minutes. Remove from oven and frost cake while hot.

Frosting:

1 stick butter
4 Tbsp. cocoa
1 tsp. vanilla
6 Tbsp. milk
1/2 bag powdered sugar
1 cup chopped pecans, optional

Melt butter, cocoa, and milk over low heat. Slowly bring up to a boil. Whisk in your powdered sugar, vanilla, and nuts. Pour over hot cake.

Cover and place in fridge until it is set up. Cut into lots and lots of pieces and enjoy!

Kevin's Going Away Party

This past Saturday in light of Kevin's upcoming deployment we threw a going away party. A year without a drink is a long time for any of us, so believe it or not I gave the ok for a keg! Originally it was intended to be family and close friends only. Once word of a keg got out within Kevin's unit, the next thing I knew we were having two kegs and every soldier within his headquarters was invited.

Overall the evening seemed to be a success. Everyone brought side dishes and we grilled hamburgers. The food went over despite the swarm of flies attacking all evening. Kevin was very angry at 2 a.m. drunk and hungry when he found out that I had thrown out all of the fly infested leftovers.

Believe it or not we are still nursing the first keg. Despite ample efforts by the boys to finish it off with late night keg stands, it is still going strong three days later. We are selling the second keg as it would take me a good year to polish off a keg alone. The party remained under control and wrapped itself up by midnight. Drinking jack shots out of $250 Stetson hats was as rowdy as it got.

I officially cut off all house access when I discovered pee on the floor in my bathroom. Not a little, but a lot! That was the end for me. It was pee exclusively outside after that. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a little OCD when it comes to the cleanliness of my home. Pee on the floor! You can only imagine the Clorox that came out!

I'm glad Kevin got to have some fun with his fellow soldiers and enjoy a few too many drinks and cigars. He may not remember the burgers, but he is sure to remember the faces of everyone who came to show their love. Thanks to all of our family and friends for being a part of our lives and supporting us through another deployment.

First Grade Here He Comes!

There goes my baby! First Grade in a brand new school. I can't believe how grown up he is! Today started the beginning of a new school year. Although I was definitely ready for summer to be over I was still sad to see him go this morning. We found out the end of last week that they did not have room for him at his old school in Manhattan. That combined with the fact that our home has still not sold brought us to the decision to pull our house off the market and put him into the local school here in Wamego one block from our home. It only makes sense. We can walk to school everyday and now he will be able to make friends locally. Kevin will no longer have to worry about us moving when he is gone. We will stay put until the end of the school year and try and put the house on the market next summer.

This school starts 35 minutes earlier than our old school so you can imagine the moans and groans I got this morning trying to get him out of bed. It will take a good two weeks for us to get into a new routine. Bedtime can no longer be midnight and he can no longer sleep in until 10 a.m.

I couldn't help but be a mess of nerves and scared for him as I dropped him off at a brand new school. He held my hand as we walked in, but as soon as we found his classroom he went into Joe Cool mode and I was quickly forgotten. He dropped my hand and wanted nothing to do with me. At 3:20 when I pick him up I'll probably get the standard response when I ask about his day. Boring as usual. I only hope that I see a grin on his face with that response.

ADT Secured

We have security! After weighing all of our options ADT came and installed our security system Monday. When the installer arrived I was immediately feeling uncomfortable. For whatever reason my stomach was in knots and I felt as if something was just not right. I couldn't figure out if it was just simply the fear of the whole situation with my husband leaving becoming more and more of a reality, or the fact that the installer looked like he just stepped out of an episode of America's Most Wanted. I quickly started thinking the worst. Kevin felt fine about the events so I tried to relax once everything was installed and the installer was out of my house and on his way.

The next morning I walked into the kitchen to inspect the work. Now keep in mind that my husband was suppose to oversee this work as it was taking place. When I turned the corner to the top of my basement steps I was far from pleased with what I saw! The phone jack cover they had installed on the back side of our wall was way to wide to allow us access to our pull down attic door. Not only that, but there was now a very large obnoxious hole filled with silicone in my wall. I was immediately on the phone with my husband and the ADT rep.

Our ADT reps solution was to come over and create a bigger hole shoving the phone jack into the wall as to allow us access to our attic. What! I don't think so! His second solution was to cover everything with a metal plate. Wow! A metal plate. Why didn't I think of that. I mean that would make my wall look so much better!!

So, the solution is that we don't have a solution at this point. Regardless of the hole, we now have security to help us sleep better at night when Kevin leaves. I will no longer have to go searching for my bread knife when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night. Ok, I'm lying. I will most likely still sleep with it next to the bed. Who am I really kidding! Kevin honey, you can now sleep peacefully in Iraq knowing that ADT is watching over us. Although like me I know you won't.

Just Another Saturday

You can find me in the closet. That's right! Curled up quietly thinking and having a good cry. That's what I needed today. If you've never found yourself in the closet you should try it sometime. I can't begin to tell you how quiet and therapeutic it is. No one knows where you are. Just you and the clothes.

Of course it never lasts long enough. Before you know it someone is crying and needs to be held, or someone is calling your name. Five minutes without Mama and the whole house falls apart. At least that's how it can feel. On one hand it's endearing that your family needs you to get through every moment of the day, but on the other hand it means becoming completely selfless as you devote every second to your family and their needs placing your own somewhere way beyond reach.

When you become a mom you officially write off all privacy and selfishness. I can't even begin to tell you the last time I went to the bathroom alone. Someone is always with me. Someone is following behind my heels or attached to my hip until I brush my teeth and climb into bed at night. Oh but it does not stop there. Gracie is currently co-sleeping and lately for whatever reason Jonah is finding his way to the bottom of our bed in the middle of the night too. As I type this Jonah is right here next to me talking away about the latest toy he is saving for while pulling my hair!!

Alone time is rare so I take it when and where I can. Grabbing those quick seconds for a deep breathe and a good cry make me a better mom at the end of the day. Someones crying and it's not me. My five minutes are up.

He did it!

He did it! Jonah is officially riding on two wheels! All of that non-stop complaining, and yesterday he took off. Once he got it there was no stopping him. Up and down the sidewalk he rode, over and over again! The best part about it was how proud of himself he was. When we came inside I told him that he definitely deserved a big bowl of chocolate ice cream and some cartoons. He spent the rest of the day grinning ear to ear and talking about it nonstop. Later he came up to me, told me he loved me, gave me a kiss, and said, "Thanks Mama." Wow! Those heart melting words bring all the complaining full circle. Thanks!

Just a little nap.

Today I have a horrible headache. I wanted nothing more than to lay down with my baby girl and take a little nap. Try as I may I can't! I can never nap! What is wrong with me? No matter when or what the circumstances I can never nap! Give birth. Nope! Work an eighteen hour day. Nope! My mind will not shut off. I'm always thinking about what I should be getting done or if my children are breathing and ok.

I blame my father for this looming nap guilt that is always running through my head. Growing up you did not dream of laying on the couch doing nothing. If my sisters and I saw our father pulling in the driveway we would sprint off the couch and race into action pretending that we had been doing something productive. If he was working so were you.

So to this day I can't nap. My husband can lay down for two minutes and be out cold. He likes to say that he's trained to nap anywhere due to being in the military, as catching a quick nap is essential in combat. Maybe I need to enlist in the army to learn this skill. It simply just comes down to me being way to high strung!

At least Gracie can nap. She never naps long, my little cat napper, but she does love to nap off and on all day long.

The Grass Is Always Greener

No matter what we do in life we are never satisfied. We always want the next best thing. We always need and want more. This applies to every aspect of our lives. The two most significant being our careers and our relationships. We go through life constantly living as if the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The side that your not on of course. When do we accept our grass and be happy with it? Do we ever? Should we ever?

When I look back at my career there was never a moment where I was satisfied. I was always reaching for the next best thing. Bigger, better, more! When your working you wish you weren't working, but when your not working you wish you were working. Huh?

I couldn't wait to finally be given the opportunity to stay home with my children. Now that I finally am I'm torn daily with that inner struggle wanting validation that I can only receive from a work environment. I would never give this up, but I would be lying if I said I loved every second of it. It challenges my spirit daily. The rewards and validation come through seeing my children laugh & smile. Seeing Gracie reach every milestone. Getting to hold her as much and as long as I want to everyday. Seeing how much Jonah's behavior has changed in such a short time by finally just being here for him. After years of tossing Jonah in daycare after daycare and coming home too exhausted to give him what he needed. The slightest mention of me going back to work brings on instant tears. That to me speaks mountains about what my children need from me.

These are the things I remind myself of every time I start to sway towards the grass on the other side of the fence. My children come first. The sacrifice is worth the rewards. I will have plenty of time for that greener grass later in life. If in the end it turns out that this is as green as it gets, well then I'm ok with that too!

Baby Poop

Warning! Yes this post is about poop!

For whatever reason boys are fascinated with poop. This became clear with Jonah early on. We went through phases with every bathroom word where it was so hilarious to him resulting in using it well beyond the capacity that he should have. To make it less of a big deal we tried to remain open and talk about these words as if they weren't a big deal. I even bought ever book I could find on the subject to decorate my bathroom with. "The Truth About Poop." "Everyone Poops." "The Gas We Pass." "Once Upon A Potty." "Walter The Farting Dog." On a recent visit my mother in law was far from impressed with this bathroom reading.

He's a boy. Boys are made of Frogs, Snails, & Puppy-dogs' tails. I continue to learn from him daily, and a boys fascination with all things gross is part of their DNA. I grew up with two sisters so this is all new to me. It was thus not surprising when Jonah took a high curiosity to his sisters poop. He acted disgusted, but yet couldn't help but want to see every dirty diaper that Gracie produced. He would then fall to the floor screaming in disgust and run from the room. He began telling everyone we encountered about his sisters glowing poop. Yes to him it seemed to glow.

This week his newest baby poop game has become decontaminating the sector, aka the diaper pail. He puts on his spider man mask, power ranger gloves, and grabs his toy grip claw and heads for the pail. He then takes it into the bathroom and with his claw decontaminates each diaper by removing them from the diaper pail and placing them into the trash can. Cheap entertainment at it's finest! Now every diaper change is a family affair as Jonah stands by waiting for a glowing poop diaper to decontaminate. Time to decontaminate the sector! Somethings I will never understand.

Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

I always make this soup when I see Roma tomatoes on sale at the grocery store. Now that your garden is overflowing with tomatoes, this soup is perfect for using up all the extras you can't get eaten quick enough. This soup freezes well and is super simple. You will never buy canned condensed tomato soup again!


1-2 Yellow Onions, chopped
3-4 Cloves Garlic, chopped
2 28 oz. cans crushed tomatoes
12 Roma tomatoes, halved (For amazing flavor use garden fresh tomatoes)
EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 tsp. basil seasoning
Salt & Pepper to taste
One heaping handful of fresh basil leaves, chiffon cut (optional)
1 cup heavy cream (optional)


Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Saute onions and garlic in 1-2 Tbsp. EVOO. Add crushed tomatoes, and seasoning. If you plan to omit the fresh basil portion of this recipe, then this is where you will want to add a few extra teaspoons of dried seasoning. Turn onto a low heat and let simmer. Meanwhile half your Roma tomatoes and place skin side up on a foil lined sheet tray. Drizzle with EVOO and sprinkle with salt. Place in a 450 degree oven and roast until blackened and bubbly. Remove tomatoes from oven and add them to your pot. With an immersion blender blend the soup until creamy. If you do not have an immersion blender you can blend the soup in a regular blender. Taste your soup at this point and add salt and pepper as desired. Chiffon cut your fresh basil and gently fold it in. Add your heavy cream at this point if you desire a richer flavor. To keep it light and healthy omit the cream. Serve with chunks of hard crusty bread.

The Real Celebrities!

I'm sorry Michael Jackson passed away and our sympathies to his family, but enough already! Every time I turn on the news there is another story related to his death. If it's not about Michael then it's some other celebrity drama about who broke up with who, who was spotted drinking here, who was dressed the best, etc. Wouldn't it be nice to turn on the news and actually here news that mattered. On one of the most recent episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon was quoted as saying, "There are men & women dying in Iraq everyday and all people care about is what I ate for lunch today." His statement nailed it perfectly!

Our soldiers are fighting and dying for our freedom everyday and why aren't they being recognized? Most recently:

Chief Warrant Officer Douglas M. Vose III, 38, of Concrete, Wash., died July 29 in Kabul Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 10th Special Forces Group, Stuttgart, Germany.

Pvt. Gerrick D. Smith, 19, of Sullivan, Ill., died July 29 in Herat, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry, Illinois Army National Guard, Marion, Ill.

Pfc Donald W. Vincent, 26, of Gainesville, Fla., died July 25 of wounds sustained while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

SPC Justin D. Coleman, 21, of Spring Hill, Fla., died July 24 in Nuristan Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit using small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fires. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 32nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

These men are only four of the many who have lost their lives or sustained injuries this month. Counting only the names released so far this month there have been thirty four casualties related to Operation Enduring Freedom. That is way too many. The issue here is that I bet before you sat down to read this you didn't know about SPC Justin Coleman or Pfc Donald Vincent. Without question I imagine you did know about Michael Jackson, and Kim Kardashians latest breakup.

To read about news that really matters you can log onto http://www.defenselink.mil daily for up to date information regarding Operation Enduring Freedom. If you click on the news release tab under the press column to the left of the home page you can view information on all the latest casualties. These are the people we need to be talking about and praying for daily. This is the latest gossip that matters. These are the real celebrities!

Tomato, Cucumber, & Onion Salad

Summer vegetables are here! I only wish I had planted a garden this year. The fact that my house was on the market made me hesitate in hopes that we would have moved by now. Guess what. We are still here. A slow market has left us in real estate limbo. My mom was kind enough to share the wealth of her garden by filling a bag of cucumbers & tomatoes for me. If you don't have a garden hit up your local farmers market every weekend. This salad is so good. Warning; Your six year old won't want anything to do with you due to your onion breathe. Make sure you spend the rest of the day chasing him around covering him in kisses!!

2 Lg Garden Tomatoes, Chopped
4-6 Garden Cucumbers, Chopped
1 Red Onion, Sliced Thin
2 tsp. Salt
1/4 tsp. Black Pepper
1 Tbsp. White Wine Vinegar
2 Tbsp. EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
2 Tbsp. Balsalmic Vinegar

Taste at this point to see if you need more salt, vinegar, etc. I never measure anything so just eyeball it and taste to your liking. Pour all ingredients into a ziplock and toss in the fridge to marinate for at least an hour. Eat plain or top your grilled burgers with this delicious salad.

Greek It Up by adding 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese and 1/2 cup kalamata olives.

Carrot Cake

This is my all time favorite dessert! I make this every year on my birthday. Last night I came home to finding my husband making it for me this year. He made it last year as well. He only cooks once a year, and carrot cake is becoming his signature dish. I'm very lucky! I hope you love this as much as we do. It's super simple and so delicious!

Carrot Cake

2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
4 eggs
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. soda
1 cup oil
3 cups shredded carrots

Mix all ingredients until well incorporated. Don't over mix. Pour into a 9x13 pan. Bake in a 350 degree oven for approximately 35 minutes. You can layer this cake as well by using two 8" rounds.

Frosting
1 8oz pkg cream cheese, softened
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 lb. powdered sugar
2 tsp. vanilla

Mix the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Slowly add your powdered sugar and vanilla until well incorporated. Frost your cake after it has completely cooled.

The Big 30

Happy Birthday to me! It's official. I'm 30! I can remember feeling like I would always be in my twenties, and although thirty is very scary I must say that I would not want my twenties back if I was given the opportunity. They were hard! Very hard! Your twenties are about finding yourself and "making it." I always said that I wanted to "make it" by the the time I was thirty. Did I? I think so. I have an amazing husband, and it only cost me one divorce to find him, and I have two beautiful children who will fill the next decade of my life with many memories, love, and daily joy.

Anything else that comes along at this point is just icing on the cake. I may not own that business I always planned too yet, but after I produce my husband another boy I'll have plenty of time for that. For now this time in my life is about my husband and kids. So here's to turning 30! The best years are yet to come. The entire house is still asleep so carrot cake and coffee here I come!

We Love Our Bumbo

How did I survive Jonah's infant days without this amazing seat? We love our bumbo seat! Gracie gets to observe many day to day activities with the assistance of this amazing chair. She helps me make dinner while sitting atop the dishwasher, she watches me brush my teeth and get ready for my day sitting atop the bathroom counter, & she sits atop the dinner table and enjoys a family meal with all of us. How amazing! Usually she is slumped over sucking on it as she has started the everything goes in her mouth stage, but nonetheless it allows her to see things from our view while giving her confidence in her own independence. If you don't have one you need one. We got ours used off of craigslist, but every department store now carries them. They are around $30 new. Can't live without our Bumbo!

Best Of The Best

My husband is best of the best! He was ranked top of his WLC class out of all seventy five attendees. On top of being named Honor Grad he also made Commandant's list due to superior academic results as well as excellence in demonstrated leadership. So two weeks of long hard days and family neglect paid off! There was apparently a big ceremony where Kevin was presented with numerous awards and medals. Me being the clueless military wife and always the last to know anything of military importance, was regretfully not in attendance to witness these honors. Regardless I couldn't be prouder of my husband and all of his hard work and sacrifices. It has definitely been a huge ego boost for him as well. All weekend he has referenced himself as best of the best, I'm the shit, and damn I'm good at what I do! We love him and are very proud of our hero!

Confirmation That I Should Never Leave The House

Yesterday we ran to town to run a few errands, and on a whim decided to swing by my old job and have lunch with a few friends. Everything was going along just great, and I had even ordered a beer in my attempt to bask in this rare moment. Two sips into my beer and food not even on the table Gracie lost it. I don't mean a little fussing, I mean full blown painfully scared cries. Nothing I tried would console her. She was not letting up, and it was only getting worse by the second. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at this point, and I can clearly see that this lunch is over.

So my amazing friends helped me scrape up all of our belongings and exit the restaurant. My friend Kim stated on the way out, "Don't worry Gracie we never have to go back there." It's so true that she most likely remembers all the smells and stress associated with that place from being in utero. After sitting in the parking lot for another thirty minutes trying to console her, she finally gave up the fight and fell asleep. Two hours later she was back to being the happy girl we love.

As much as I always think that a change of scenery would be good for her, any attempt always seems to end in a mad rush to get back home to her comfort zone. Babies like routine and even the slightest disruptions from that can send them into a state of panic. I realize that it won't always be this difficult to leave the house, and she won't always rely on the comfort of her routine. Before I know it she will be six like her brother and will be begging me to leave the house. So in the meantime we will continue to attempt the occasional outing, but for the most part I think we'll stay right here at home. We love visitors so come visit anytime. Just make sure you call first. You know me, I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting you!!

Go Away I Have A Bread Knife!

When Kevin is away in the field I usually find myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to going to bed at night alone in a big dark house. I know I'm thirty years old, but I still get nervous when my husband is away. Last night only confirmed the need to make the call to get the security system installed that I have been putting off. Despite my husbands attempts to get me to learn how to use a gun I find myself always heading for what is most comfortable, a chefs knife. This was my weapon of choice when I was a single mom as well. Whenever I got nervous there my knife would lay beside the bed. Last night upon being startled in the middle of the night I immediately got out of bed, cell phone in hand programmed to 911, and made my way cautiously to the kitchen and grabbed the first thing within reach, a bread knife! Then I paraded through every room in the house turning on the lights and checking to make sure all of the doors and windows were secured knife in hand. Then with every light left on I went back to bed gently laying the bread knife beside me and attempted to close my eyes. Of course I heard something else, so once again I jump up bread knife in tow and paraded through the house cautiously again. This morning I have to laugh as I imagine what would happen if there ever were an actual intruder and there I am with my bread knife ready to attack. Do you think they would pause and laugh. I think they might. Maybe it is time for that gun lesson. It's going to be a long year!

It Burns! It Burns!

It Burns! It Burns! Those are the words we hear every time Gracie accidentally touches Jonah followed by screams and Jonah running from the room. Up until now Jonah has wanted absolutely nothing to do with his sister. With Kevin in the field this week Jonah, Gracie, and I find ourselves spending a lot of time together. Last night I put Gracie in the Jumperoo for the first time and Jonah was equally excited. He sat there on the living room floor talking away to her. "Look at this Gracie., Do you want to bounce Gracie?, Gracie do you want it louder?, Hey Gracie do you like this?" It was too cute! He looked at me and said, "Ok fine, I like her." So tonight it got even better when he was wanting me to cut him some peaches. I told him that he would have to hold his sister if he wanted peaches, and after some initial hesitation he did it! I couldn't believe it. I ran to get the camera to capture this rare moment as quickly as I could, and before he changed his mind and dropped her. It only took four months and some serious summer boredom for Jonah to admit to loving his sister!

Pasta A La Kim

My dear friend Kim mentioned purchasing pine nuts today and I was inspired to make this simple yet delicious pasta.

1 lb linguine
5 cloves garlic, minced
2 pinches red pepper flakes (only if you want a kick)
3-4 Tbsp. EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
A handful fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/2 cup toasted pine nuts
Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

Toast your pine nuts on a sheet pan in a 350 degree oven for approximately 5-8minutes. Just watch them carefully as they will turn and burn fast. You can also toast them in a skillet on the stove top just as easily. In a hot skillet saute garlic and red pepper flakes with EVOO. Cook linguine until al dente. Drain pasta and while it's still hot toss it in a large bowl with garlic mixture, parsley, pine nuts, & fresh ground black pepper. Top with tons and tons of fresh grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.

How Many More Days?!?!?!

Ok I just counted. Thirty one more days until school starts. That's a whole month left to go! If it wasn't obvious by this blog title Jonah is quickly driving me crazy! He hovers around me like a vulture. Always one step behind me. He is regressing to childhood behaviors, and I'm not sure if it's due to his new sister or the fact that he knows that Kevin is leaving again. He has started pulling my hair again which is a comfort behavior he did through his toddler years. Every time I turn around he is trying to pull my hair! Ahhhhhhhhh. Seriously not ok. He gets this catatonic stance and stares off into space while sucking on his bottom lip and continually pulling my hair.

I told Jonah at the beginning of the summer that this would be a difficult summer with Gracie so small, but that we would do everything we could to make it fun. We can't go swimming due to the fact that the local pool has zero shade and the sun is just too much for Gracie. This is Jonah's biggest complaint. We have talked about getting a pool for the yard, but the fact that he refuses to run through the sprinkler or use his slip n slide has deterred me from acting on this purchase. We have included every possible summer activity into our days, but that is clearly still not enough. He refuses to go outside and play unless I am two feet away from him. Everyday we go through a list of ideas and I'm lucky if he agrees to one. His idea of the perfect day would be sitting in front of the tv from sun up to sun down. Unfortunately for him he knows that I would never agree.

So the countdown begins. I'm thinking of creating my own daily countdown to help me see that the end is in sight. Summer vacation. Every child's dream and every parents nightmare!

It's A New Day

Every morning my baby girl Gracie opens her eyes, smiles that big smile, and looks around like she is seeing her surroundings again for the first time. She kicks her legs, flaps her arms, looks around wide eyed, and smiles and smiles. What an amazing way to start the day! I remember this from when Jonah was little as well. Babies love mornings. Everyday is the start of an amazing new day of learning, discovery, and fun.

Wouldn't our lives be so much better if we all started our day with that same excitement for what's to come. Of course I realize that our days are not filled with endless warm milk, naps, and a smile around every corner. Regardless you have a choice everyday as to whether to put a smile on your face and make the most of what life throws you good or bad. Life is one big obstacle after another, but how you choose to wake up and face those obstacles is what sets the tone for your whole life and the life of those around you. It's a new day. Kick your legs, flap your arms, look around you, and smile!

Camouflage

Kevin had to teach a class yesterday on how to camouflage yourself to his colleagues. Aside from the traditional camo techniques he discovered they came out with these new ACU color camo sticks. Now you can paint your face to match your blue/gray ACUs. Very strange to say the least. Kevin started painting Jonah's face and of course halfway through Jonah freaked out. Quickly Kevin got to work on his own face to make Jonah feel better. After that Jonah quickly thought it was fun and we laughed very hard over the fact they they both looked like the boy whose face turns blue in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. You should have seen them trying to get it off of their faces!

Almond Tea

This recipe is a summer staple at my house. This recipe came from my Mom. Growing up she always made it for neighborhood block parties. It has quickly become one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

Almond Tea

2 cups boiling water
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 Tbsp. Instant tea
1 Cup Lemon juice
1 Tbsp. Vanilla Extract
1 Tbsp. Almond Extract

Dissolve the sugar and instant tea in the boiling water. Add remaining ingredients and cold water to fill a one gallon pitcher. Chill and enjoy!

Up on the Housetop

When Jonah was born I made the decision to exclusively breastfeed just as I'm currently doing with Gracie. For whatever reason I felt overwhelming Mommy guilt if while I was nursing him I wasn't singing to him. So I sang. I sang all the time. If he was nursing I was singing. Jonah was born the end of October. So with the holidays right around the corner it was only fitting to sing him every Christmas carol I knew. The Christmas carols quickly became the top songs in my lullaby memory file. As a result of all that singing, to this day when Jonah eats he unconsciously hums. No this is not a joke. He hums while eating, and he has no idea that he is doing it unless someone calls him out on it. We have always thought it was endearing until he started attending school and getting made fun of everyday at lunch. Now whenever he does it we quickly point it out to correct him. Who knew that my crazy mom guilt would create this food related hum that is still going strong at six years old.

Now here I am nursing Gracie and I hate to admit it, but the Mommy guilt is back. So I sing to her as well every time she nurses. The problem is that my lullaby memory file is not very large. I know very few lullabies from memory. So even though it's July, it's Christmas in July at my house. Up on the Housetop, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, & Frosty the Snowman. They all get sung to my nursing baby girl everyday. My husband always walks by me and just smiles shaking his head in amusement. It will be interesting to find out if Gracie turns into an unconscious food eating hummer as well. If you ever stop by don't be surprised if you hear Christmas tunes coming from inside. It's just me singing Up On The Housetop for the tenth time that day. It's Gracie's current favorite.

Daddy's Home!

Daddy's home! Something about saying those words sets the whole house in a spin of excitement. Everyone can't wait to see Daddy, and Mama can't wait to have some help to get through the rest of the night. I have heard many Moms talk about the late afternoon hours waiting for Dad to get home being the worst hours of the day. I agree completely! They call this time of day for newborns the witching hour. For us Moms it's simply called survival hour! Poor Daddy walks into the house after a long day and everyone attacks. The kids can't wait to jump all over him and get some Daddy time, and Mama can't wait to have a minute alone for a quick breathe. They wait for him on the bed as he changes clothes, they peek under the bathroom door as he goes to the restroom, and they wait patiently squeezing between his legs as he kisses and hugs Mama. It's amazing the element that one more person adds to a household. It can go from quiet to chaos within seconds. There is no greater feeling than that love whether your a Dad or a Mom coming home from a long day. Opening the door to a household of people who can't wait to get their hands on you and share with you how much they missed you and love you.

Military Cadence

Hail O' Hail O' Calvary! This week started my husbands two week WLC (Warriors Leadership Course) training. His morning starts at 3:30 a.m. and when he crawls into the door late evening he immediately hits the computer to memorize another military cadence to lead the troops the following day. Kevin walks around the house marching with Gracie as he chants cadences like Hail 'O Hail 'O Calvary, & If I Die In A Combat Zone. Gracie looks at her Daddy with smiles and confusion rolled into one. Jonah rolls around on the floor covering his head begging for it to stop. There is no denying it now, we are officially a military family. Our life is filled with cadences, flags, shelves of army issued ACUs, more tan t-shirts then any one human being should ever own, combat boots, MREs, & glow sticks the size of telephone poles. This will prove to be a long two weeks for all of us as the running cadence memorization comes next! If I die in a combat zone are not the words I would typically hope to have running through my head when I close my eyes at night. As I'm humming myself to sleep I'll have a big smile on my face picturing my husband marching around the house with our baby girl in tow attempting to carry a tune while remembering all the words. Left,your left,your left right left.

Who's that baby in the mirror?

Gracie has discovered the mirror. She loves it! She smiles that big open mouth smile, talks to herself, and last night we heard her first giggle upon seeing herself. These moments make it all worth it!

Dude. I've seen hot chicks and trust me they do not look like you!

Dude (aka Mama)! I've seen hot chicks and trust me they do not look like you! When did my six year old turn into a teenager? Hearing about hot chicks is something I was hoping not to have to deal with for at least ten more years. Personally I blame tv and the fact that yes he most likely watches way too much. The Disney channel is now filled with shows like Hannah Montana, ICarly, & Wizards of Waverly Place just to name a few. If you happen to catch an episode from any of the above you'd probably find yourself removing all televisions from the house. Unfortunately my husband is totally against this idea or else trust me it would have been done long ago. I mean what would happen if he couldn't watch all of his shows as well! Shows like, Dirty Jobs, Myth Busters, Deadliest Catch, & Man Versus Food.

Imagine for a minute what your world would be like without tv. We would be forced to read books, play games, eat at the dinner table, go for walks, & talk to each other. I know that's a lot to take in! Getting off of our asses and using our brains. Imagine how your family would be changed. It's pretty overwhelming to think about. Life without technology. In ten more years I can only imagine what we are in for.

On a recent family vacation to my inlaws it only confirmed to me the impact that tv has had on the family unit. The tv never went off the entire visit. We only see this part of the family once a year, and the tv never went off! This quickly drove me insane. We drove fourteen hours in the car to visit with family just to get there and watch tv! What has happen to families? No one knows how to talk to one another anymore.

Husbands and wives don't even go to bed together anymore. One is either passed out in front of the tv or asleep with one of the kids. Remember back to when you were dating. The tv rarely came on, and you always went to bed together. Trust me even if there were kids involved as there were when Kevin and I dated, you always found a way to make it to bed together. What would that feel like to find that intimacy with your spouse again. To lay in bed together at night and giggle and talk. Fall asleep holding hands. Just the two of you talking and connecting like you used too.

This year I plan to work hard on bringing my family out from in front of the tv and back to each other. With Kevin's second deployment right at our heels all of the lost family moments to the tv have really started to show themselves. I may never get these moments back with my family, and when I look back I sincerely doubt that I'll be thankful for that hour I spent watching the newest episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Jonah might not agree right now, but someday when he has married that hot chick he talks about and has a couple children of his own he will understand completely.

Kevin's Favorite Gouda Chicken

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1-2 onions (yellow, red, or white), julienne cut
3-4 cloves garlic, chopped
EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
1 cup flour
2 tsp salt
1 Tbsp pepper
1 cup heavy cream
4 oz Gouda cheese (any cheese of your choice works just the same)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Remove any fat from the chicken breasts. Place them into a zip lock bag and pound them until they are equal in thickness. Heat a large skillet. Add 1-2 Tbsp. EVOO. Add your onions and garlic. Saute over medium heat until well caramelized. Remove onions and garlic from the pan and set to the side. Dredge the chicken breasts in a mixture of flour and salt & pepper until all sides are coated with the flour mixture. In your well heated skillet add 2-3 Tbsp EVOO. Place your chicken breasts into the pan. Immediately take two forks and poke them all over creating holes throughout entire breast. Saute them until well browned on one side. Flip them over and quickly add your onion and garlic mixture, heavy cream, and cheese. Cover with a lid and place in preheated oven for approximately 20 minutes. The chicken will be melt in your mouth amazing!